It Takes A Village (Or A Pirate Crew)
by MarzBarz
Summary: Dragon asks Whitebeard to take care of his infant son, Luffy. Life on the Moby Dick is never the same. (Whitebeard raises Luffy AU)
1. Father to Father

**A/N**: One day I was struck by the thought "You know what would be hilarious and adorable? Sticking a baby with a bunch of pirates." And somehow that became "Whitebeard raises Luffy!" This is the first part of what will become a series, because Marco and Thatch have somehow graduated from "fearsome pirates" to "mom and dad of hyperactive ball of sunshine" in my head. The series title is from the African proverb "It takes a village to raise a child."

Also, shout out to Haurvatat for letting me use a piece of her Thatch in this fic - namely how many siblings he has. If you haven't read her One Piece stories right now, you should go check them out, especially the fantastic "100 Days of Ace Being a Buttwipe" that I pulled Thatch's siblings from!

I would love it if you left a review on your way out =)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ONE PIECE. Nope. Not mine.

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea, yoi?" Marco asked from his position beside his captain at the helm of the ship. They were closing in on the meeting point Dragon had suggested, and the whole crew was getting antsy; Thatch had been fidgeting with his swords for the last ten minutes, getting snapped at by an equally frazzled Izou for five of those while the rest of the division commanders tried their hardest to ignore them.

"Of course," Whitebeard said, grinning down at his first mate. "Dragon would only ask for a meeting like this for something interesting; you must be as curious as I am as to what Garp's rebel son wants with one of his father's oldest enemies."

"Maybe Dragon is just as crazy as his old man," Thatch muttered, leaning forward to look for a boat. He winced when Vista elbowed him hard in the side, efficiently shutting him up.

"I see him, Oyaji, yoi," Marco said, pointing to a small sailboat heading their way quickly. He could see a tall hooded figure standing near the mast that must have been Dragon, as there was no one else on the boat. Whitebeard nodded, waving his hand to signal the crew to quiet down as the division commanders all stood at attention.

"Hello, Newgate," Dragon called. "Permission to come aboard?"

"Permission granted, brat," Whitebeard replied. He waited until Dragon had carefully jumped onto the deck before continuing. "What is it that the increasingly wanted leader of the Revolutionaries wants with me?"

Dragon was silent for a moment before he moved the edge of his cloak aside to reveal a bundled-up, sleeping baby being held carefully against his chest. "This is my son, Luffy," he said. "I have come to ask you to care for him in my stead."

There was a moment of silence as the crew processed this before every jaw but Whitebeard's dropped with an almost audible sound. "WHAT?" Thatch shouted, lowering his voice dramatically when the baby squirmed and Dragon shot him a glare that promised death if he woke the sleeping child. "This is your kid? Seriously?" The fourth division commander tilted his head to the side as he gave the baby another look. "But he's so cute." Vista and Jozu simultaneously reached over to slap him upside the head, and he shut up with a pout.

Whitebeard ignored his commanders, instead turning a sharp gaze on Dragon. "You would rather leave your son with infamous pirates than raise him yourself? What are you thinking, brat?"

"The midst of a revolution is no place for a child to grow up," Dragon said. "His mother died in childbirth, and I cannot raise him and do the work I have dedicated my life to. I can't give him what he needs, Newgate."

Whitebeard snorted. "So why not give him to your father? Garp may be, well, himself, but I'm sure he would welcome the chance to raise his grandson." He knew there had to be more to this. Dragon was cradling the boy with obvious affection; this could not have been an easy decision to make.

"As you said before, I am an increasingly wanted man, and it is no secret that Garp is my father in the upper echelons of the Marines. I don't want my son to be judged solely for sharing my blood," Dragon said, looking down at the bundle in his arms. "My father won't be able to keep a secret like this from his friends, including Sengoku, so I cannot ask him to take care of Luffy. There are many in the Marines who will think him a threat solely because he is related to me. Besides, I have no wish for my father to force his own career on my son the way he tried to force it on me. So I have come to you, to ask you to care for him. My father respects you, and he is a shockingly good judge of character; if he trusts you then so can I."

Whitebeard laughed, though he kept it quiet in deference to the sleeping baby. "Gurarara! You make a compelling argument; must get it from your mother, since you certainly can't get it from Garp. You realize that he is no safer with me and mine than he would be with you and your upstart organization, or even with your father?"

"He may not be safer, but he will be much better hidden," Dragon said. "The world is a dangerous place - there is nowhere he would be truly safe. No one would think to look for a child of mine with the Whitebeard pirates, though. And everyone knows how protective you are of your crew, your family; I can think of no better place for Luffy to grow up."

Newgate sat back in his chair, thinking it over until he was interrupted by a baby's soft cry. He looked back to see the child, Luffy, blinking sleepily at his surroundings with a gurgle. The fearsome pirate crew of a Yonkou was frozen under the child's curious eyes.

"Good morning, Luffy," Dragon said, tapping the baby on the nose gently to bring his attention over. Luffy made a happy noise and latched onto his father's finger, dragging it into his mouth and gumming at it. "Yes, yes, you're hungry. I'm aware of just how constant a state that is with you, don't worry." Dragon carefully drew his hand out of Luffy's mouth, reaching into his cloak and coming back out with a large bottle that Luffy immediately reached for.

"Healthy appetite for such a little guy," Thatch muttered as he watched the bottle rapidly empty. He was already figuring out what they would need to add to their stock to take care of an infant, and had tripled his size estimates by the time the kid was done with his meal.

Dragon smiled (a genuine smile - the pirates were all a little bit weirded out at the sight of it) as he replaced the bottle within the folds of his cloak. "A great deal of your funds will be going to feeding him if you take him in. He's certainly inherited my father's prodigious appetite."

Luffy had taken to looking everywhere with wide, curious eyes, taking in the ship and all the people standing around him. Thatch wiggled his fingers at the kid and pulled a face, easily falling back into the baby habits he'd formed as the oldest of nine kids. The kid giggled adorably, smiling as wide as one can smile without teeth. "You sure this is actually your son? He's too smiley to be related to you," Thatch said absently as he continued pulling faces at the baby.

"Yes, I am sure," Dragon said with a dull glare Thatch's direction before he decided the commander wasn't worth his attention and turned back to Whitebeard. "What is your answer, Newgate?"

Whitebeard nodded. "If you're sure this is what you want, then Luffy is welcome on my crew." One thing was for sure - life would be much more interesting with this child around, especially if he carried the Will of D as Whitebeard suspected he did. "What is his full name?"

Dragon grinned in a way that made him look frighteningly like his father. "Monkey D. Luffy."

Thatch stepped up to Whitebeard's side, arms out to take the baby. "What?" he snapped when the rest of the crew looked at him with varying degrees of shock. "Do any of you guys know how to hold a baby? I practically raised 4 of my siblings, I know what I'm doing."

Dragon looked Thatch up and down, as if judging whether he was allowed to hold his son. Eventually he nodded to himself and shifted his hold on Luffy, looking down. "Time to go, Luffy. This is your new family; they'll keep you safe and let you be free." He pressed a kiss to the top of Luffy's head, murmuring something quietly, then passed him over to Thatch.

"Hey, kiddo," Thatch said quietly once he had Luffy comfortably settled. "I'm Thatch. I'm your new big brother, I guess." Luffy looked up at him with wide eyes, making indistinct cooing noises and wiggling his arms. "Welcome to the family, Luffy," Thatch continued with a grin that the baby returned.

Whitebeard focused on Dragon a moment longer. "What do you want us to tell him about you? I won't hide the fact that his father isn't a member of the crew if he asks - my children will be his brothers and sisters, not his parents."

Dragon shrugged minutely, eyes still locked on his child in Thatch's arms. "Tell him the truth, if he asks. He will find out eventually no matter what; his parentage isn't a secret that can be kept forever. Eventually there will be a leak somewhere; I told my father about his status as a soon-to-be-grandparent, after all, and the man probably immediately bragged about it to Sengoku. So tell him, if he ever wants to know." His smiled, a genuine smile that made him look like any other proud father instead of the most wanted man in the world. "We'll meet on the high seas eventually either way."

Whitebeard nodded, turning to look at where a large group of his children had gathered around Thatch and Luffy to introduce themselves. When he turned back, Dragon was gone, a large box in his place with a note on top. Whitebeard walked over and picked the note up, laughing as he finished.

_Here are some basic supplies - formula and diapers. You'll be needing lots of both. Ask for donations from your territories, perhaps. - Dragon_

Whitebeard put the note back on the box, heading over to where Thatch was rocking a yawning Luffy and quietly giving lessons on how to hold a baby. He crouched down, rubbing a finger carefully through Luffy's soft hair. "Welcome aboard, Monkey D. Luffy. Welcome to the family."


	2. First Steps

Disclaimer: I had a dream I was Luffy once, does that count? No? Then I don't own One Piece.

* * *

It didn't take long for life on the Moby Dick to settle into a new routine once Luffy came on board. Luffy-care was passed from division to division the same way watch and dish duty were passed along, though it seemed to hit the fourth division most often since Thatch revealed he was the oldest of nine and had basically raised half his siblings from birth. Luffy's crib stayed in Thatch's room for the first few weeks, but it was moved around as well after the commander started to fall asleep on his feet.

Luffy was a ridiculously cheerful little guy. Most of the crew were orphans or only children and didn't really know what to do with a baby, but they all agreed that Luffy was so happy all the time it was almost weird. The only time he really cried was when he was hungry, and even then if you noticed the signs and got him a bottle you could avoid any tears completely.

Between the various talents of the crew members, Luffy gained a nice set of baby toys. The one he loved the most was a fluffy brown bear that Izou made for him; he always had it, and the easiest way to get him to take a nap was to give him the bear to cuddle and cover him up with a blanket (Thatch bought Izou some nice sake as a thank-you).

The only real difference in life on the Moby Dick for the first several months after Luffy arrived was that they kept to safe waters, staying near their territories and sending out small forces to clear up any issues on their other islands. Everyone was starting to think that raising a baby wouldn't be that hard after all.

Then Luffy learned how to walk.

* * *

It was the first division's turn on Luffy-duty, and Marco was helping Luffy make a block tower. The eight-month-old liked building simple towers, then rolling through them to knock them over. When he was building, nothing short of food could tear him away. Today was different, though – every time someone walked by, Luffy's attention snapped to them and he watched them until they were out of sight. Marco had noticed the same thing happening for a few days and figured Luffy was trying to find the secret to walking. He'd been pulling himself up on anything he could reach – furniture, people, even Stefan's fur – and the whole ship had started baby-proofing a couple shelves higher as a result. Everyone had started helping Luffy learn, holding onto his hands and guiding him around the deck for a couple minutes at a time.

"Hey, Lu," Marco said, getting up to crouch in Luffy's line of sight. "Want to give walking another shot, yoi?" Luffy babbled excitedly, reaching up to grab Marco's outstretched hands, completely forgetting about the blocks. Marco grinned, watching as Luffy pulled himself to his feet, then started to slowly shuffle backwards. Luffy followed, an adorable look of concentration on his face as he put one foot in front of the other.

Together they slowly made it across the width of the deck. Marco transferred Luffy's grip from his fingers to the railing once they reached it, then took a few long steps back and sat down. Luffy stared at him in confusion for a moment, head cocked to the side, before letting go with one hand and turning himself in a wobbly circle so he was still facing Marco. "Walk over, Luffy, yoi" Marco said gently, making a beckoning motion with his hands. "You can do it. One foot in front of the other, just like a few minutes ago, yoi."

Luffy didn't move, staring at something over Marco's shoulder, and the phoenix saw Thatch approaching out of the corner of his eye. He quickly motioned for all activity on the deck to freeze, not taking his eyes off Luffy; as long as there were people to watch, the baby would be too distracted to give his own legs a shot. Everyone froze and Luffy's gaze went back to Marco as the baby shuffled forward a step, still holding onto the railing with one hand.

The entire deck of the Moby Dick held its breath as Luffy took one last little shuffle forwards before letting go of the railing. He wobbled a little but kept his balance, then took a step forward. This was quickly followed by two more wobbly strides until it became too much and he landed on his butt and burst into delighted giggles.

Just like that, the silence was broken as everyone on deck erupted into delighted cheers, some of the crew running off to spread the news to everyone who hadn't seen. Marco scooted over and swept Luffy into his arms, beaming proudly. "Way to go, Luffy!" Luffy babbled happily, then tried to wiggle his way out of Marco's hug. "Oh, you want to try again, yoi? Sure – here, head for Thatch." Setting Luffy on his feet facing Thatch, Marco made sure he was balanced before letting go.

"Look at you, walking on your own!" Thatch said, sitting down and stretching his hands out towards Luffy. "Come on, kiddo, you can do it! All the way over, you got this!" Luffy made it several steps before teetering back onto his butt again. This time, he got a determined look on his face and tried to push himself back to his feet. After letting him try a few seconds Marco held out a hand for Luffy to pull himself up with and the baby managed to pull himself up and walk the rest of the way to Thatch before tripping on the cook's foot and face-planting in his lap. Thatch swept Luffy up into a delighted hug, and Marco took the opportunity to run off and let Oyaji know what had happened. Soon Luffy was making his way towards a grinning Whitebeard, with the rest of the crew spilling out onto the deck to watch.

A party was in full swing by dinner, with Luffy taking steps whenever he felt up to it, though he got tired quickly since he wasn't used to it yet. Marco was staying sober to take care of the little guy while the rest of the crew got completely smashed in celebration, and was currently sitting in a relatively quiet corner with dinner for both himself and Luffy. "You'd think we wouldn't throw a huge party for someone far too young to participate, wouldn't you, yoi" he said, looking down at Luffy with a long-suffering expression. "But no, the Whitebeard Pirates can't celebrate anything without drinking at least their weight in booze." Luffy waved one arm, the other not releasing its death grip on the bottle. "I suppose you're joining in, since you seem particularly determined to drink your body weight in formula," Marco mused. "Seriously, is your stomach secretly a black hole or something? This is kind of ridiculous, yoi."

"Maaaaaaarcoooooooo, you know he's a D," Thatch said, sliding an arm around Marco's shoulders as he flopped into an empty chair next to the pair. "That means food. Loooooots and lots of food. Remember that one time we hung out with Roger's crew and Roger ate almost as much as half his crew combined?" The cook giggled drunkenly, taking a swig out of the bottle in his hand. "We get that to look forward to! Isn't that right, munchkin? You're gonna eat us right out of our ship when you get older." He reached forward and poked Luffy gently on the forehead. "Gotta eat enough to change the world, don't you, bubba."

Luffy flailed in Thatch's direction with his free hand, still chowing down. "Yeah, you're gonna shake things up in a big way, kid," Thatch said fondly before turning to Marco. "You know what first steps means though, right?" When Marco gave him a blank look, Thatch gestured at a doorway dramatically. "Baby gates, Marco. Baby gates. Stairs have become enemy number one for this little guy, so we gotta block them off to make sure he doesn't fall."

"Couldn't we just keep an eye on him, yoi?" Marco asked, already picturing the number of crew members that would trip on a baby gate in any given hour. It wasn't looking pretty.

Thatch threw back his head and laughed. "Keep an eye on Luffy? Are you serious?" he asked, trying to get himself under control. "You remember when Curiel took his eyes off him for 30 seconds and he rolled under Oyaji's chair and we couldn't find him for an hour and a half? Or when Fossa looked away for five seconds and Luffy had rolled halfway across the deck?"

"Alright, alright, bad idea, I get it, yoi," Marco said, throwing the now-empty bottle at Thatch's head while Luffy giggled. "So baby gates, and big signs to warn about the baby gates so there are a minimum of injuries when people forget, yoi." Thatch nodded, wiggling his fingers at Luffy and pulling a ridiculous face, and Marco sighed. "Joy. I'll tell Oyaji, yoi."

"Better wait til after the party," Thatch said, waving his hand at the chaos around them. "Drinking and baby gates are a bad mix. Very bad. And painful."

Marco gave his friend a strange look, but decided not to comment. Sometimes it was better to let it go. He looked back down at Luffy, who was blinking sleepily, sucking contently on his thumb as he cuddled into Marco's chest. "Life's going to get a lot more interesting, isn't it, yoi," Marco said softly, standing up to get Luffy to bed. The baby giggled softly, and Marco grinned. Sure, maybe the ship would be that much crazier with a baby now running around underfoot, but Marco wouldn't trade it for anything.

* * *

A/N: So in the Enies Lobby Arc, Luffy learns how to use Soru just by watching Blueno do it a few times. Same idea here – he figures out walking by watching everyone around him do it. I've worked with a few kids who learned to walk without ever figuring out crawling, and I figured that's what Luffy would do, since the pirates aren't crawling around to demonstrate that for him. Before that he rolled around a lot, because rolling is fun.

Also Thatch has absorbed and expanded upon my penchant for using nicknames for small children, so expect to see Luffy get called a wide variety of things that are not his name until he gets to be 6 or 7 and puts his foot down about it.

I'm going to be shooting for an update every two weeks at the latest, though I can make no concrete promises about that schedule. Thanks for reading!


	3. Talk Like A Pirate

Luffy graduated from walking to running to climbing so rapidly the Whitebeard Pirates were hard-pressed to keep up. Luffy-duty quickly went from a relatively easy job to one of the most demanding tasks on the ship. If Luffy went five minutes without getting himself into some kind of (usually ridiculous) trouble it was considered a minor miracle – the kid stuck his nose into everything. He let the crew know he could climb by way of scaling the outer railing of the deck and almost falling off the ship, and seemed to consider Whitebeard's chair a personal challenge no matter how many times he fell off and was saved from injury only by Whitebeard's quick reflexes.

Luffy also proved he was related to his grandfather by inheriting the Vice-Admiral's ridiculous strength. It became all too common to find someone carrying a freshly-diapered Luffy and sporting either a bloody nose or a black eye from what Thatch took to calling "Luffy's head-butt of affection"; once the little guy was stood up on the diaper table so his pants could be pulled back up, he would launch himself towards whoever was changing him, coming in right at face height. Diaper changing became a commander-only job for a while, but after Thatch, Curiel, and Fossa all got concussions and Marco had flames flickering around his head for a few minutes after a change it turned into a Whitebeard-only job. Whitebeard thought the headbutts were adorable rather than painful.

A couple months after Luffy started walking, Thatch announced at the commanders meeting that he wanted to start teaching Luffy some simple sign language. "It'll help him start expressing himself," Thatch explained. "It's just basic stuff - more, food, drink, hurts, stuff like that. This way he can tell us what he wants or how he's feeling, even though he can't use words. Talk around him a lot, too – point stuff out, tell him what you're doing, stuff like that. It will help him figure out talking."

The whole crew was eagerly awaiting Luffy's first word. Thatch had warned them that all kids were different and it could take as long as a year for Luffy to start talking, but the baby had picked up walking so fast that everyone couldn't help getting their hopes up. "Watch his first word end up being a swear word, yoi" Marco muttered as he watched Kingdew and Atmos argue over Luffy's head about the block tower the trio was building.

Thatch and Izou laughed. "If it happens it'll make a great story to tell him when he's older," Izou said, shaking his head at the thought. "I'm expecting it to be something along the lines of food, though."

"I'm trying to teach him a very specific word," Thatch said, sounding far too mischievous for Marco's liking. "I have faith he can figure it out before all the rest."

"This word wouldn't happen to be turkey, chicken, or pineapple, would it, yoi?" Marco asked suspiciously.

Thatch gave Marco a betrayed look that did nothing to make the phoenix feel better. "Marco, I would never! You wound me, good sir!" He held a hand over his heart dramatically.

Izou rolled his eyes as the two started bickering, leaving them to it and going to join the tower-building group in hopes of teaching Luffy some color coordination before he was utterly ruined by their idiot brothers and sisters.

* * *

Luffy's first word came when he was a little over 17 months old, and looking back on it Thatch and Marco agree that they shouldn't have been surprised. The pair were snagging Luffy from yet another railing escapade at the time, and Luffy kept turning himself in their arms to face the water, putting his hands together in the sign for 'more'. "You really like looking at the ocean, don't you, buster," Thatch said, trying to keep a secure hold on the squirming toddler while letting him look at the water.

"Oshie!" Luffy said, flailing in its general direction.

Thatch and Marco both froze, staring at the kid. "Did he just try to say ocean, yoi?" Marco asked quietly. Thatch nodded, and Marco leaned around so Luffy could see him. "Luffy, say ocean."

"Oshie!"

"Ocean," Thatch repeated, trying to emphasis the last syllable.

"Oshin!"

"Close, buddy, so close. Ocean."

"Ocean!"

"You got it, yoi," Marco said, grinning widely. "And it isn't a swear-word, atta boy."

"Let's go show Oyaji your new word, eh buddy?" Thatch said, beaming at Luffy and tossing him in the air a few times. Luffy laughed wildly, which both adults took as a 'yes'. They sprinted across the deck, weaving around confused crew members until they were at the foot of Whitebeard's chair. "Oyaji, Luffy has something he wants to tell you," Thatch said, holding up a still-laughing Luffy. "Luffy, tell Oyaji what you just told me and Marco, bub."

Luffy grinned up at Whitebeard, waving his hands, and said "Ga-ba-ba-boo-ba!"

Marco climbed onto the arm of Whitebeard's chair so Luffy could see him point towards the water. "Luffy, what's that, yoi? Tell Oyaji what that is."

Luffy beamed at Marco and said, clear as day, "Ocean!"

Whitebeard's laughter boomed across the ship, making Luffy giggle and clap as the giant man plucked him from Thatch's hold. "You are a true son of the sea, little brat," Whitebeard said fondly as Luffy babbled at him with the occasional 'ocean' thrown in. "A pirate's life is the life for you after all." Luffy just clapped.

Naturally, this meant the crew had to throw another party in the baby's honor. Everyone tried to get Luffy to say other words, though by the end of the night they were too drunk to remember just what they were attempting to teach. Upon waking up the next morning they discovered (to half the crew's pleasure and the other half's horror) that the only words that stuck in Luffy's head were pineapple ("pie-apple!") and bastard ("bas-tad!"). Thatch had never been more proud, even though Marco spent the rest of the morning chasing him around the deck in an attempt to throw him off the ship after Luffy had cheerfully waved at the phoenix and chirped "pie-apple!" in greeting.

* * *

Luffy's vocabulary grew exponentially once he started talking. He quickly got a firm grasp on basic food names, parts of the ship, and the names of the crew members who usually took care of him. The only slightly confusing thing was the name he sometimes called Marco or Thatch, "turico". Everyone else got called by their names (and in Whitebeard's case, Oyaji), and Thatch had no idea where this word had come from.

The mystery was solved when he wandered onto the deck just after dark and found Marco sitting on the railing, rocking a sleepy-looking Luffy and singing softly in a language Thatch didn't recognize. He didn't interrupt, just sat next to his best friend and waited through the two songs it took for Luffy to fall asleep. "That's a beautiful language," he said after a few more minutes of silence. "I've never heard it before."

"Nobody has these days," Marco replied, staring out at the ocean. "It died around a century ago; I'm the only one left who remembers it, and I only remember some songs and words."

"That's where we got our new title from, huh?" Thatch said, glancing Marco's way. "Turico, or whatever it is?"

Marco nodded. "It means 'brother', yoi. I started calling Luffy that whenever it was just me and him, and he picked it up." He shrugged. "I haven't had anyone call me that in a very, very long time. It was nice to hear again, yoi."

Thatch couldn't think of anything to say to that. Sometimes he forgot just how old Marco really was, just how long he'd lived; the only time he'd asked the phoenix his age, the older man had laughed and said he lost count. Thatch had tried to tease the sad look from his eyes with some senility jokes and never brought it up again. Eventually he settled on attempting to steer the topic away from Marco's dead language. "He only calls the two of us 'turico', you know. I think it means something special to him."

Marco nodded, smiling softly down at Luffy sleeping in his arms. "I think so too, yoi. We're the two who have taken care of him the most, you know? You get Luffy-duty the most because you know what you're doing more than anyone else, and you drag me along with you half the time. For him, 'turico' probably means something like 'parent', yoi."

Thatch reached out to run a hand through Luffy's hair gently. "Yeah, I suppose." He turned to Marco, a gleam in his eye that made Marco instinctively inch away. "You're a total mother hen, so it fits you."

Marco spluttered indignantly. "I am not the mom, yoi! You're the mom!"

Thatch cackled. "You keep telling yourself that, Marco. You keep telling yourself that." He stretched, swinging his legs off the railing and heading for the stairs to the commanders' quarters. "Better get the munchkin to bed, mama bird. Don't want him to get a cold from the chilly night air or something."

Marco flipped Thatch off as he slid down to the deck, following his friend in. "Fuck off, yoi."

"Such language! That's no way for a mother to talk!"

"I'm going to murder you in your sleep if you don't shut up, yoi."

"Such violence, Marco. You're setting a terrible example for Luffy."

"GOOD NIGHT, THATCH."

* * *

BONUS SCENE - Thatch earns his attempted drowning

"Now, Luffy," Thatch said, swaying a bit as he sat in front of the toddler, the party in full swing around them. "This is the most important word you are going to learn tonight. We've been working on this for a few weeks, I'm confident you can get it now."

Luffy stared at the older man, chewing on his knuckles, then took his hand out of his mouth and said "Ocean?"

"More important than ocean," Thatch said seriously. "You see Marco?" Luffy brightened, babbling happily. "He is not Marco, he is pineapple. Say it with me, bubba - pineapple."

"Pipple?"

"Pineapple. Piiiiiiiine-apple."

"Pie-appy?"

"You're so close, buddy, so very close – this is the most important thing you could learn tonight, you can do it." Thatch snorted. "Even if Marco won't think so, the bastard."

"Bas-tad!"

"No, no, not bastard – don't repeat that ever again – pineapple." Thatch pointed in Marco's general direction for emphasis. "Pineapple."

"Pie-apple?"

"Yes!" Thatch shouted in triumph, snatching Luffy into his arms and twirling drunkenly around the room with him. "Beautiful! Say it again, ok? Just to make sure."

"Pie-apple bas-tad!" Luffy chirped happily, giggling as he held his arms out like he was flying. "Pie-apple bas-tad!"

"Marco is going to murder me tomorrow and it is going to be so worth it," Thatch said, holding Luffy up and looking him in the eye. "I love you, kid. This deserves food."

Luffy nodded, and the two headed off with much babbling and happy calls of "bas-tad!"

* * *

A/N: Fun fact – I work at a childcare center, and Luffy's "head-butt of affection" is based off one the little boys in my toddler class. I stood him up to pull up his pants after I changed his diaper, and he nailed me with a headbutt right above my left eye, then gave me a huge grin. He nailed my coworker right in the nose a couple weeks later. The signing is another thing that we do at work with the waddler class. Also, I'm aware that Luffy is behind the typical developmental schedule in speaking; I think it fits him, though. He's not dumb, but it takes him a little longer to work some more cerebral things out than it does physical things.

I apologize for interrupting the fluff with my Marco feels, I have a lot of them. "Turico" is Quechua for "brother"; I imagine Marco is from South America somewhere, and Quechua is the indigenous language of multiple South American countries. This is kind of setting up Luffy's future relationship with Marco and Thatch – he'll love all his brothers and sisters and his Oyaji, but Marco and Thatch will be special.

Ah, and I realized the other day that I've been forgetting something important - thanking everyone who reviewed! Thank you very much, guys, I really appreciate every review I get. Thanks for all the faves and follows, as well!


	4. A Walking, Talking Ball of Chaos

A/N: This marks the transition from developmental landmarks per chapter into a year per chapter, wooooooo!

DISCLAIMER - I own nothing. Nothing whatsoever.

* * *

Marco wasn't sure what woke him; he figured it was just a particularly loud crash of thunder and closed his eyes, intending to go back to sleep. His eyes snapped back open when he heard a quiet sniffle and he turned to the door, where he saw a small form standing in the doorway, peeking into his room. "Luffy? What's up, yoi?" he asked, sitting up and blinking rapidly in an attempt to wake himself up further.

He got his answer when thunder crashed overhead and Luffy flinched at the sound, practically catapulting himself into the room and the phoenix's open arms with a sob. "Shhhh, Lu, shhhhh, it's okay," Marco said soothingly, hugging the boy close and rubbing soothing circles on his back. "That noise is called thunder, yoi. It's part of the weather."

"No like," Luffy mumbled into Marco's chest. "Scary. Too loud."

Marco chuckled a little. "It's far too loud, you're right about that, yoi." He settled himself against the headboard of his bed, rocking Luffy gently in his lap. "You get used to it, though. It's pretty common around certain parts of the Grand Line, yoi."

The thunder came again and Luffy started, clutching Marco a little tighter. "No like, no like," he mumbled, pressing himself closer to the commander.

Marco sighed, patting Luffy's back softly and bringing a blanket up to cover them both. "Try not to think of it as something scary, yoi," he said softly. "Think of it like – like clouds giving each other high-fives."

Luffy looked up at Marco curiously, fear forgotten for a moment. "Clouds high-five?" he asked, making the motion.

Marco nodded. "Thunder comes from these big clouds up in the sky, yoi. So whenever it crashes, try to think of what happened that the clouds are high-fiving each other for." Thunder crashed again, and Marco continued before Luffy could freak out. "I bet one cloud was congratulating another for pulling a good prank, yoi."

"Thatch prank?" Luffy said, grinning widely and patting Marco's hair. The fourth division commander had dyed it an eye-watering shade of hot pink a week ago, and Luffy loved it.

"Yes, a prank like Thatch's," Marco said, rolling his eyes. Luffy giggled, and Marco congratulated himself for thinking of a good distraction. They continued the little game until Luffy eventually fell asleep, whispering ideas to each other with each loud boom. Marco scooted carefully down the mattress until he was laying down again, Luffy snuggling into his side immediately. "G'night, _turico,_" he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Luffy's head before settling an arm around the kid and closing his eyes.

* * *

"GET BACK HERE, BRAT!"

Activity on the deck of the Moby Dick paused, everyone watching a naked two-year-old race past them followed closely by a soaking wet Thatch wearing a pair of shorts. As one, the crew members shrugged and went back to their work – the weekly bath show was nothing special at this point. The only part that changed was who the chaser was and how far Luffy made it before he got caught.

Luffy dodged skillfully through the legs before him, shouting "NO BATH, MEANIE THATCH!" as he ran for Whitebeard's chair. Once he reached it he scrambled up the side until he was clinging to the man like a koala. "Bath stoopid!"

"Stupid or not it is also necessary," Thatch growled, glaring up at Luffy as he came to a stop in front of Whitebeard's chair with his hands on his hips. "You're not getting out of it this week, just like you didn't get out of it last week. Or the week before that. Or all the weeks before that. It's bath time and you know it." When Luffy stuck his tongue out in response, Thatch scowled. "I'm already tempted to give you a salt-water bath instead of a safe one, buster, don't push it."

"You can't throw him overboard and call it a bath, yoi," Marco called down from the crow's nest where he was on watch, an amused look on his face.

"NO BATH!" Luffy screeched when he heard the hated word, somehow managing to climb all the way to the top of Whitebeard's head. "Oyaji say no bath!"

"He did not! Oyaji, you didn't, right?" Thatch turned his gaze on Whitebeard, who was grinning widely at the commotion.

Whitebeard waved a hand, making sure to keep Luffy balanced safely when he moved. "There is no such thing as an official bath time on this ship, Thatch. We're pirates." Luffy cheered, raising his arms in victory. "There are, however, official bath days, little Luffy. So your bath will be happening today, if not right this second."

"But Oyajiiiiiiii, no wanna bath," Luffy whined, flopping onto his stomach on Whitebeard's head. "No fun. Wanna play."

"Then we'll make a deal," Whitebeard said, plucking Luffy carefully off his head and holding him up so they were making eye contact with each other. "You take your bath now and play freely until dinner, or you play for an hour and then take your bath."

Luffy crossed his arms, puffing out his cheeks. "No bath, all play!"

"Not a choice, kiddo," Thatch called from the deck. "Oyaji's deal is the best you're going to get. If you don't choose, I'll be picking for you."

Luffy blew a raspberry at Thatch before turning back to Whitebeard. "Bath now, then play with Oyaji?"

"Aye, brat. Take your bath now and I'll play with you when you're clean."

After a minute Luffy nodded decisively. "Bath now, play with Oyaji."

Whitebeard handed the boy down to an exasperated Thatch, who got him in a secure hold in case the little hellion tried to escape again and headed below deck. Marco dropped down from the crow's nest, landing on the arm of Whitebeard's chair. "He's turning into a manipulative little guy, isn't he," the phoenix said, crossing his arms. "I'm not sure whether to be proud of him or not, yoi."

"Gurarara. He'll be a force to be reckoned with one day," Whitebeard said fondly. "He won't let anything stand in his way."

* * *

Luffy's appetite is considered a mystery on par with the Poneglyphs in Whitebeard's crew. "Where does it even go?" Vista wondered, watching in morbid fascination as Luffy worked his way through the same amount of food the fifth division commander was eating. "He's two. He should not be eating as much as a grown man."

"Two and half!" Luffy interjected around a mouthful of food, glaring at Vista. "Two is baby. I two and half! I a big boy!"

"Sure, Lu," Fossa said, ruffling the boy's hair with a grin. "You're a big boy. With an even bigger stomach."

Luffy scowled and opened his mouth to reply when Thatch held up a finger, stopping him. "Ah-ah-ah. Big boys chew, then swallow, then talk." Luffy pointed to one of the men at the fourth division table who was talking around a mouthful of lunch, and Thatch shrugged. "Everyone knows Kenji isn't a big boy, you can't use him as an example." He caught the apple Kenji threw at his head for the comment and took a bite, waving cheerfully at his subordinate as he did so. "See? That's not something a big boy does."

"Captains don't talk with their mouths full," Curiel said, pointing at Whitebeard, who had just taken a large bite out of a chunk of ham.

The giant man dutifully swallowed his food before nodding. "Aye, brat. Listen to your brothers." He wasn't about to stand in the way of an attempted manners lesson – the brat wouldn't be getting many growing up in a pirate crew.

Luffy chewed sullenly for a while before his eyes lit up. "I not captain," he said, looking far too pleased with himself for making that point.

"But you're a big boy, aren't you?" Thatch said, with an exaggerated look of confusion. "And captains are big boys too. So if you're a big boy, you do the same things captains do." Luffy gave him a skeptical look, but he didn't talk with his mouth full for the rest of the meal. The commanders all counted it as a win.

* * *

A/N: This chapter is brought to you by the war being waged between my teaching side and my pirate side. I knew, going in, that pirates weren't going to do the things I do at work, but that didn't stop me from cringing in despair and deleting snippets due to my brain completely rebelling against them. Lordy. So, mini manners lesson at the end because it was _killing me._

I'm going to make a broad announcement now, because I've got the same two questions a lot – YES, Shanks will show up! In the next few chapters, actually. Ace and Sabo will also be showing up! They will take much longer to appear, but they are coming.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Please let me know what you think of this one.


	5. Snapshots

"Oyaji, do you poop?"

"Gurarara, of course I poop, Luffy. Everybody poops ."

"Ah, really? Cool! Marco, do you poop when you're a mystery bird?"

"Where did this come from, yoi?"

"I'm curious! Oyaji said everybody poops, but you get all weird and blue and fiery so maybe you don't."

"I'm not going to answer that, yoi."

"Boo, you're no fun. Namur, do you poop?"

"Did Thatch put you up to this, kid?"

"No! An' I already asked him but he choked on food and got all red and said to ask someone else, and then muttered something about Marco and rusty knives. So I'm asking you. Do ya?"

"...if I answer will you stop asking people?"

"Yeah!"

"Fine. I can't believe I'm doing this… yes. I poop, just like everyone else."

"What's it like when you poop underwater? Cuz you're a fisman – fihman – "

"Fishman?"

"Yeah, that! So you lived underwater right? Did you poop different?"

"You got your one poop question, Luffy. I'm done."

"Phooey. Nobody is any fun around here."

* * *

"Luffy, for the last time, you are not getting a watch shift." Curiel rubbed his temples, trying to fight the headache he could already feel coming on. The Moby Dick's youngest member was determined to pull his weight, even when it was physically impossible for him to do so - the brat was shorter than the sides of the crow's nest, for god's sake! He could barely stretch across the spaces of the rigging leading up to it.

"I can do watch too! Just cuz I can't climb the rig- the riga- the rope things to the crow's nest doesn't mean I can't do it!" Luffy said, pouting.

Curiel resisted the urge to pinch his adorable little cheeks. "Oh? How are you going to do it, then?"

Luffy beamed, and Curiel immediately took a step back. That smile meant nothing good. The brat darted off, coming back with Blenheim in tow. "This is my crow's nest!" he said brightly, before scrambling up Blenheim's shirt until he was on top of the tall man's head. "Now I'm on watch!"

Curiel gave Blenheim an incredulous look, and the ninth division commander shrugged. "He gave me the puppy eyes. I folded like a bad poker hand." He poked Luffy gently in the stomach. "Anything to see up there, watchman Luffy?"

Curiel slipped away as Luffy chirped a reply, intent on getting a camera. This needed to be documented immediately, on the off chance someone on the crew didn't get to see it in action before Luffy got bored. As he walked, he wondered how Oyaji had managed to get out of being Luffy's crow's nest.

* * *

"Stefaaaaaaan, nooooooo, you gotta be still," Luffy said, trying to hold the dog's head in place as he brushed his hair out into ever-larger poofs. "You'll be a lion. A battle lion! And we can raid Oyaji's food stash!" Luffy had yet to discover that Oyaji's 'food stash' was in fact a sake stash, because every attempt at getting in was thwarted before he made it.

The dog obligingly held still for about five seconds before his tail started wagging and he playfully nudged Luffy in the chest. The boy frowned. "Fierce, Stefan! Fierce!"

Stefan barked loudly, bounding in a circle around Luffy, who nodded approvingly and tossed the brush over his shoulder. "Kay. Now we gotta give you war paint. Nobody will try to stop us this time!" He whipped Izou's makeup out of his pockets, giving Stefan's new mane 'fearsome' rainbow stripes with Izou's eye shadow. When he was finished he sat back with a satisfied nod, then added red to the fur that looked like Oyaji's mustache. "All done! Now, onwards, Stefan the battle lion!" Luffy cried, raising a hand in the air as he hopped onto the dog's back.

They made it a dozen yards before a sharp call of "Monkey D. Luffy!" made Luffy freeze in the middle of a loud battle cry, and Stefan stopped in response. Slowly, Luffy turned around to see Izou striding towards him, a terrifyingly polite smile on his face. "Just the hooligan I wanted to see. You wouldn't happen to know what happened to my makeup, would you?" the commander asked sweetly, looking pointedly at Stefan's multicolor hairstyle.

Luffy started sweating, hiding the eye shadow behind his back as he whistled innocently and looked away. Stefan, not noticing the mortal danger his young rider was currently in, ambled up to Izou and nudged the man's hand for scratches, putting Luffy within grabbing range.

Izou snatched Luffy off the dogs back with one hand, scratching Stefan behind the ears with the other. "And what are you hiding behind your back, hmmmmmm?" Luffy just whistled louder. "Give it up, brat, you're not fooling anyone. Give me my eye shadow."

"I had to make Stefan a battle lion," Luffy said as he handed it over. "I needed colors. He looks fierce now!"

Izou rolled his eyes as he carried Luffy over to a corner of the deck. "Next time, use something that is not my makeup." He set Luffy down on so he was facing the railing. "Seiza, five minutes, facing the corner, and if you move we start over. Go."

"I won't do it again!" Luffy tried to look as pathetic and apologetic as possible, but Izou stopped him before he could turn around. Everyone on the ship knew how devastating those big sad eyes could be.

"That's what you said when you made him pretty last week, and look where we are now." Izou crossed his arms, giving Luffy a stern look. "The sooner you start the sooner you'll be done. Go."

Luffy puffed out his cheeks but did as he was told, settling on his knees. It took barely thirty seconds for him to start fidgeting, then stop himself, then fidget again. After three minutes Izou took pity on the kid and set him loose with a warning to never touch his makeup again that went in one ear and out the other, and Luffy bounded away to find Stefan and continue their raid on Oyaji's food stash.

* * *

"Marco! Welcome back! Where'd you go? What'd you do? Did you bring me any food?" Luffy attached himself to the first division commander's leg as soon as the man stepped onto the deck, beaming up at him as he babbled his questions.

Marco laughed, ruffling Luffy's hair as he headed off to report to Whitebeard. "I went to a couple stores around the port to coordinate a resupply. No food, sorry, but there's a couple guys who are interested in possibly joining the crew, yoi." He motioned over his shoulder at the half-dozen strangers following him.

Luffy popped his head out, giving them a wide smile. "Hi! I'm Luffy! Are you gonna talk to Oyaji about being nakama?"

All the potential crew members stared at Luffy in shock. One of them, a large guy missing some teeth (Marco was pretty sure his name was Teach), said "Yeah, that's the goal, I guess. Are you on the crew, kid?"

Luffy grinned widely, nodding so hard a few of the men worried his head would come off his neck. "Yup! I'm Luffy! Who're you guys?"

"Navic." "Eest." "Kun." "Sonder." "Tambahan." "Teach."

Marco poked the top of Luffy's head. "Manners, yoi. Don't make me tell Thatch."

"Oh yeah!" Luffy unwound on arm from Marco's leg to wave at the new arrivals. "Nice to meetcha! Welcome to the ship! It's the coolest!" He stared at them intently. "Do you have any food?"

"Ignore that," Marco said, ruffling Luffy's hair when he gave a grumpy 'hrmph'. "Give him food now and he'll think you have it all the time." He peeled Luffy off his leg, setting him down on the deck. "Go find Thatch if you're really that hungry, yoi. I'll see you after we talk to Oyaji."

"'Kay! Good luck new guys! Don't die!" With a final cheerful wave, Luffy was off, leaving an amused Marco and a vaguely terrified pack of new recruits in his wake as he shouted for Thatch at the top of his lungs.

Dinner several hours later was a loud and exciting affair, as all six of the recruits were welcomed to the crew with a feast and seats at the commanders table to see where they would fit best. Eventually Luffy got tired of all the boring serious talk and shoved his way between Teach and the second division commander, Otrais . "What division you gonna join, mister?" He looked a little sheepish as he settled in his seat, bouncing on his knees. "I forgot your name."

"Don't sweat it, kid. It's Teach," Teach answered, grinning down at his new pint-sized nakama. "Commander Otrais over there was just telling me about the second division when you came over; sounds like my kind of group, I'll probably go with them." He pulled a cherry pie his direction. "Luffy, right? Want any?"

"Bleeeeech, cherry pie is icky," Luffy said, sticking his tongue out. "Are you gonna eat the rest of that meat?"

"Nope, all yours, kid," Teach said, grinning as he hefted the pie and slid his meat Luffy's way. "Have at it. More pie for me, then."

"Shishishi, all the meat for me!" Luffy cheered, beaming up at Teach. "Welcome to the crew, Teach!"

* * *

A/N: The first section is why I so desperately needed the manners bit at the end of chapter 4. I couldn't write so much about poop without including manners somewhere. Right now the preschool class I work with is obsessed with the book "Everybody Poops", which inspired me to have Luffy be, well, himself.

All the names of the recruits (besides Teach) are the word "extra" in various languages, because I don't have the energy to be creative about names until finals are over in a week or so. Same with the name of the second division commander, except the word is "second" instead of "extra".

Teach is now in the second division, where he belongs! I haven't completely decided what I'm going to do with him (pre-Dark Dark Fruit at least), but he'll be popping up every now and then, like any other canonically-named crew member.

Readers, my dear readers, I cannot thank you enough for all the reviews, favorites, and follows. I honestly never expected to write anything as successful as this story has been – over 75 reviews, over 150 favorites, and over 175 follows? I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much, thank you for all the support!

One last announcement, to follow the Ace/Sabo/Shanks announcement from last chapter – Luffy will be eating the Gum Gum Fruit! I've gotten that question more than a few times as well, so I figured I'd just clear it up now in case anyone was reading in the hopes of Luffy getting a different fruit.

ACTUAL last thing – I have a poll up on my profile about what I might start publishing next, if you want to check it out! I've got bits of both fics written already, although this one will always be first priority. I'd appreciate it if you voted! It'll be up for a week or two (or til when I remember it exists).


	6. Snow Day

Marco smothered a yawn as he stumbled back to his quarters. He'd managed to wrap up his supply run/haggle-fest a couple hours early, and the only thing on his mind was using that extra few hours to get some sleep after the all-nighter he'd pulled talking to Oyaji about possible Sixth Division Commanders. They'd been watching the last few contenders carefully for a couple weeks, trying to make a final choice. Eventually they'd settled on Rakuyo, one of the senior members of the division, and Marco had left to oversee the supply run. That was a good eight hours ago, and now he was ready to fall into bed for at least six hours.

He groaned in aggravation when he saw the door to his room already open – if Thatch had pulled some sort of prank while he was gone, he was going to murder the fourth division commander, best friend or not. He was too tired for this shit today. "Thatch, if you're in here, I'm going to kill you, yoi," he said as he stepped through the door.

Thatch was, in fact, in the room - he was sprawled in the center, fast asleep, Luffy snoring away on his chest. Both of them were covered in rainbow streaks of paint, as were Marco's walls.

Marco stared at the scene for a minute, trying to decide if he was mad at the mess or if the sight of Thatch and Luffy curled up like puppies and snoring away was too adorable for him to work up a temper. In the end the cuteness won out, and he left for a few minutes to find a camera so he could give Whitebeard a picture of the pair.

Once that was done he crouched down by the snoring pair and started poking Thatch in the cheek; he wasn't above petty revenge for all the times Thatch had done the same to him. "Thatch. Thatch. Thatch. Thatch. Thatch." Thatch slapped at Marco's hand with a groan, turning his head away, but Marco followed the movement and continued the poking. "Thaaaaaaaatch. Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatch."

"God dammit, Marco, what the fuck do you want?" Thatch growled, cracking open one eye to glare at his friend. "I'm trying to sleep here."

"Yes, you are," Marco said, "but this is my room. And you're covered in paint, just like my walls. I want an explanation, yoi." He gestured to the splotches of bright color everywhere, especially at Luffy-height. "Though I'll admit I was anticipating all my furniture being on the ceiling when I got back and saw my door open."

"Luffy thought you were too serious, which is true," Thatch said, yawning widely and rubbing a hand across his eyes. "I was going to prank you to loosen you up, and the squirt decided you needed more color in your life to cheer you up. He said something else, too, but I don't remember what it was." He poked Luffy in the side. "Lu, wake up, Marco's back and wants an explanation." When Luffy just snuggled closer and mumbled something about food, Thatch motioned for Marco to back up and yelled "I'm going to eat all the meat!"

Luffy shot into a sitting position, waving his arms angrily and almost smacking Marco in the nose as he shouted "SHARE, MEANIE THATCH!" He seemed to immediately forget his annoyance, though, turning to Marco with a bright smile. "Oh! Marco's back! We made your room pretty and happy so when you have to do lotsa work you don't get annoyed and in a bad mood, do you like it?"

"It's growing on me," Marco said with an amused grin. "Where did this come from, though? Why'd you decide to do it now, yoi?"

"You looked really really tired a lot," Luffy said matter-of-factly. "And you couldn't play ever cuz you were busy, and that's no fun, so I thought you needed something fun cuz all work and no play makes Marco a cranky bastard."

"Oh really? Who told you that last part, yoi?" When Luffy pointed at a sheepish Thatch, Marco just rolled his eyes. Of course. "Well, thank you, Luffy. I appreciate it."

"What, no thanks for your wonderful best friend who helped too?" Thatch cried indignantly, punching Marco lightly on the shoulder. "Where's the gratitude, man?"

"There would be more gratitude if said best friend didn't also call me a cranky bastard," Marco said dryly, shoving Thatch towards the door. "Now get out. I'm going to sleep. Tell everybody not to wake me up unless the ship is burning down around us, yoi."

"G'night Marco!" Luffy said, jumping up and giving Marco a hug before running out after Thatch. Marco waved after the pair, grinning. They may be idiots, but they were his idiots, and he really wouldn't want them any other way.

* * *

Thatch woke up to colder temperatures and a shivering four-year-old in his bed. They'd been heading towards a winter island for the first time since Luffy had joined the crew, after an extensive shopping expedition to fit the kid out in cold-weather clothes. "Somebody wasn't ready for the cold, huh," he murmured under his breath as he got up and pulled on a sweatshirt before peeking out the window. He grinned widely at the sight of snow, already thinking of all the things he was going to show Luffy once the kid woke up.

He caught up on some of his work while Luffy slept, congratulating himself on the large stack in the 'done' pile when Luffy finally started to stir. He practically skipped over to the bed, singing "Wakey wakey eggs and bakey, munchkin! I have something to shoooow youuuu!"

"Bacon?" Luffy yelled, shooting upright in excitement. "Is it bacon? Lots and lots of bacon?"

"No, little stomach with legs, it is not bacon," Thatch said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, get dressed in warm stuff and we'll get breakfast. After that I have something new to show you."

"Is it new food?" Luffy asked, pulling on sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt. "I hope its new food."

"No it is not new food," Thatch said, shaking his head as he helped Luffy into warm boots and a puffy jacket. "I swear, you have a one-track mind until you get fed. Come on then, to the galley."

Half an hour later Thatch was racing Luffy out of the galley, most of the other commanders trailing after at a slower pace. Thatch skidded to a stop in front of the door to the deck, snatching Luffy around the waist before he ran headlong into the wood. "Now for the surprise," he said, beaming down at Luffy. "I give you –" he flung the door open, gesturing dramatically, "- SNOW!"

Luffy immediately dashed out and flung himself into one of the taller drifts that had built up overnight, giggling wildly. "It's all fluffy!" he shouted, flailing his way out and shaking himself off. "And cold. I like it."

"You can build with it, or eat it, or throw it at people," Thatch explained, packing a ball in his hands and rolling it around the deck. "Want to help me build a snowman?"

"Yeah!" Luffy cheered, running over to help with the rolling. "What's a snowman?" Thatch explained the process, and soon they had a nice-sized snowman set up near one railing, complete with vegetable-face and a hilarious attempt at a snow-pompadour. "Snow-Marco next!" Luffy cheered, dragging Marco over to help. This snowman was identical to the last except for the snow-pompadour, which was replaced with an even more hilarious attempt at Marco's unique hairstyle that had Thatch rolling on the ground howling with laughter. "Snow-Oyaji!" Luffy yelled next, running off to find Whitebeard. By the time everyone trooped back into the galley for lunch the deck was littered with snow-versions of all the division commanders and Whitebeard.

Luffy was back on the deck as soon as he had finished eating, closely followed by Thatch and the vast majority of the crew. The group swiftly split into three teams – one headed by Whitebeard, one by Marco, and one by Thatch, with the rest of the commanders split evenly between them. The groups all sprinted off to make snow forts, and they spent the rest of the day engaged in an epic snowball fight. By the time dinner rolled around, the whole crew was covered in snow and grinning like maniacs.

"So, how did you like your first snow day, Lu?" Rakuyo asked, sipping on hot chocolate while Luffy chugged his entire mug in one go and demanded more.

"It's amazing!" Luffy said, smiling brightly. "Are we gonna have more? Is there still gonna be snow tomorrow? Can we never leave the snow ever?"

Blenheim laughed, patting Luffy on the head. "We'll have plenty more - Oyaji said we'd be at winter islands for at least two weeks. We'll have to leave the snow eventually, though; lots of our territory has much warmer weather, and not everyone on the crew loves the snow as much as you."

"Which is blasphemy," Thatch called from behind his mug of hot chocolate. "Snow is a wonderful thing. The only thing Oyaji ever loses at is snowball fights, after all!"

"Not even I can defeat the entire crew in a snowball fight," Whitebeard said, taking a large swig of his own special hot chocolate (made 75% alcohol, 25% hot chocolate). "And by the end it is always all my children ganging up on me." He tried to sound annoyed, but his giant grin kind of blew it.

"I think we should stay at winter islands all the time," Luffy said seriously as Marco topped up his hot chocolate. "Never leave. Ever." He had a lot more snow-people to make, after all. He didn't want to leave any of the crew out.

"We'll see what we can do, my son," Whitebeard said, wrapping his youngest up in a warm blanket. "We'll see what we can do."

* * *

"Luffy, I think it's time we started teaching you how to swim," Namur said, watching Luffy swing his feet happily as he sat on the edge of the railing. "You fall in the ocean often enough that you need to be able to keep yourself up."

"I don't fall in on purpose," Luffy said, giving Namur a bright smile. "I just tip over a lot."

"Either way, it's a useful skill," Thatch commented from where he was making sure Luffy didn't fall. "You're not a hammer like Marco or Oyaji, so you might as well learn."

"When are we gonna start? Are we gonna start now? Are we? Are we?" Luffy practically bounced in place on the rail, and Namur reached out automatically to steady him.

"Next time we make land, kid. I'd rather start you out somewhere your feet can reach the bottom than in the middle of the ocean." It would all too easy for something to go wrong, and that was not something Namur wanted to risk.

"Boooo, you're no fun," Luffy pouted, sticking his tongue out at the fishman.

"This is your chance to learn patience, brat," Thatch said, poking Luffy in the side. "We're a few hours from the island we're having the April birthday party on, you can wait that long." Luffy grumbled, crossing his arms and settling into a sulk.

"I still have to run it by Oyaji anyways," Namur said, patting Luffy on the head. "Want to come ask him with me?"

"Sure!" Luffy brightened immediately, hopping off the rail and running off with a loud cry of "OYAJIIIIIIIII!"

Thatch sniffed theatrically. "Our baby is growing up. I wonder if he'll pick up swimming as fast as he did walking." He winced as they watched Luffy trip on his own feet, smack face-first into the deck, and bounce up with tears in his eyes as he continued his sprint with a new goal of a hug.

Namur shrugged, heading after Luffy. "Doesn't really matter, does it? We'll hold him up if he sinks either way."

* * *

A/N: On the Moby Dick, they have a birthday party a month, in honor of everyone on the crew who's birthday is in that month. They rotate the day every year to the actual date of someone's birthday. And Luffy is learning how to swim! He is going to be terrible at it. Absoluely terrible. (Shanks calling him "anchor" will be pried out of my cold dead hands I'm sorry Luffy no swimming skills for you)

Luffy gives the rainbow-room treatment to all the commanders at least once before he turns 17; whenever they look tired or stressed he shanghais someone (usually Thatch) into helping him make their room happy and pretty.

Thank you for all the faves, follows, and reviews, everyone – over 100 reviews on this silly fic, I kind of can't believe it. Thank you all so much, and I hope you like this chapter!


End file.
